I have a love/hate relationship with pretty much every trivial thing in life. I need to make sure to clarify that becuase there are things like my husband, kids and family that I actually have a love/love relationship with. But pretty much anything that is trivial is love/hate. For instance, junk mail. I love it because sometimes that Latina magazine that I get every month for reason unknown actually has some useful and insightful information. And sometimes I find a gem of a coupon in the valpak envelope. But I could do without the credit card preapprovals and the such as it is an obscene waste of paper. Also, crumbs on my stove. I love them for two reasons. 1) If there is crumbs it usually means I'm cooking (not a totally rare occasion but also not a supremely regular occurence) and 2) I only make a mess cooking if I'm really excited about what I'm making. But, I have to clean them up...hence the hate.
But there is something in this life that I actually hate/hate. I try not to hate as I don't want to throw that out into the universe. But i really do hate this one thing. There is nothing that anyone can tell me that will make me like it...ever! I speak of the yellow and black striped, wing-ed beast that is the bee. I don't care if it's a honey bee..you would think that they would be great because they love flowers...but no. I don't care if it's a worker bee who obviously has great work ether. I could do without them. And the Queen bee, the epitome of an active feminist? She can go away with all the rest of them. I literally hate bees with everything that I can muster up.
Supposedly the world would completely implode or fail or something if they weren't around. I don't believe it. I think the world would find a way. The world is huge, would it really matter if the bees were not around. I find it hard to believe. I don't like honey so really it doesn't matter to me.
This undying hatred all stems from when I was 7 years old and I got stung by a bee on my tongue. That's right! My tongue. One of the most traumatic experiences in my life having to do with an animal...It might even trump the shrimp food poisoning incident of '86 which caused me to swear off seafood in all forms. I spent my whole life after the tongue sting avoiding bees and was very sucessful until the summer of '06 when a bee stung me on the back of my knee right as I was going down a water slide. It was horrible.
Yesterday at the park, we were having a picnic and this one bee kept coming around trying to get into our soda. I have not been that scared in a long time. Yes, I let a half inch long insect get the best of me and I'm not ashamed. Carson always reminds that they can smell fear. I'm not sure I believe it, but they always seem to gravitate towards me, so there must be some truth to it.
This is a clip of Eddie Izzard, one of our favorite comedians when he talks about Bee Keepers. I thought it was fitting. Start watching at about 2:20. Or watch the whole thing, because it's all funny really!
3 comments:
Yah bees suck. At playgroup last week there was a mammoth sized bee that kept qanting to get ZAc and I as I was trying to get his suit on. I finally started running and screaming whilst holding Zac naked as this thing tried to attack us. Finally my friend Jacque swatted at it with a shoe and eventually it flew away. There were a lot of people I didn;t know at the pool so it was quite embarrassing.
meghan- that video was awesome!
Molly- I laughed harder at your comment than at the video!
Bees are necessary. Did you know that NYC alone has 20,000 varieties of bees? The things I learn listening to NPR. No bees = no food. It is a necessary evil....Funny clip!
Post a Comment